Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
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