oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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