your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
