can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
