so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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