I don't think brook has ever known best
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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