Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We're too hungover to prance.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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