If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
