I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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