New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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