Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
