Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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