Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
