At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
