Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize