guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
