Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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