$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
