That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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