All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
