Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize