We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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