I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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