My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
you never un-have a 4some
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
