Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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