He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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