That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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