I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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