are you so shy because you have an std?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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