Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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