I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
