wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
