Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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