so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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