someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize