Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
