If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
