You're completely useless in the revolution.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
