I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
