Nicole vs. Life
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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