Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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