Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
