well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
