is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize