it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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