last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
