I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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