i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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