Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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