just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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