we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just high enough for therapy.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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