I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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