So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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