I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
