As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
