dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
