I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
