If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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