this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
