A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Randomize
