hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
