Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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