even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
