Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
