giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
