i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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