By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
