May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
