DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize