Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize